A smiling Heart! A tingly tummy! I know that glorious glowing feeling! You have a deep inner knowing that your love will last
forever and ever more. Whether high school sweethearts or years spent searching, you found your life’s companion, a partner to embrace
you through all life’s highs, lows, and in betweens as you merrily row, row, row your boat through this crazy upside down world. You
believe that you have the love of all loves, surpassing any Shakespearean play as you wistfully follow your own kaleidoscopic brick road
to the magical land of Happily Ever After.
Of course you’re ecstatic! But, sometimes, even with chemistry fiery enough to split an atom and promises sealed with a kiss, love just
isn’t enough. Outside factors have a way of seeping into your lives, playing nasty tricks of illusion and negatively influencing your
marriage. Then, just as the steady trickle of a stream erodes the mighty rock into a tiny pebble, your love is in jeopardy, yet you can’t
identify any particular day or defining moment. It just happens.
Regretfully, I speak from personal experience as I went from being one-half of a couple who was madly, no, scratch that, to say that I was
“madly” in love doesn’t do my love justice. I was passionately in love. Yes, passionately is more like it---with a bold capital P. I was
positive that we would grow old together and finish each other’s sentences. But reality stepped in after 23 years, and, faster than you can
say “I DO,” I found myself checking single on my tax return. By the time we sought counseling, the relationship was far too fractured to be
repaired. Divorce the only option.
Why would a divorced woman have the audacity to write a book that offers advice about love relationships? After my marriage ended, I
felt like a complete and total failure. For the longest time, I questioned, “What did I do wrong? Why would he have an affair?” I honestly
thought that I was a good wife. I foolishly thought that we were happy.
What lesson was I to learn?
While no one in a failed relationship is totally absolved of fault, I read how-to articles, books on marriage and searched the Internet for
quality advice seeking absolution for any role I may have played. I craved to know why and when the erosion began. How could I have
missed such an important moment that defined my future?
As I read university research, books, articles and listened to experts for marriage advise, I recognized a consistent message in what they
were saying. Before long, I found myself buying legal pads and cross referencing the most common threads of information. I then took my
notes and rewrote the findings, keeping it informative yet concise.
Forewarned is forearmed became my adopted saying as Mindfully Ever After slowly took shape. It naturally developed as a guide for
couples to identify problems before they manifest. My hope is that you will take the time to read and reread these pages full of rich tips
until you are able to mindfully recognize those sneaky outside factors. Prevention is key, like when you eliminate the nest of bumble bees
burrowed under your roof’s shingles before they come swarming into your home.
As you read Mindfully Ever After, I encourage you to take time to examine your actions of the past and your thoughts of today. Crossing
over the marriage threshold, it’s only natural to bring along a bevy of expectations, beliefs, and perceptions from your past ---after all,
that’s what made you who you are. To successfully nurture your love union through the days and years of togetherness takes mindful
awareness of the combination of today and yesterdays.
There are many mindfully ever after marriages and yours is most likely one of them. You have the free-will consciousness to make that
choice. By becoming aware of the snags and snares ahead of time, you gain sure footed confidence to keep the sanctity of your vows.
Think of your marriage as a garden that needs to be tendered, carefully and lovingly. Regardless of how much mulch is spread, constant
vigilance is still necessary. If not, weeds will still find a way to wiggle through, bugs will feast on lush leaves and delicate petals, and
before the day’s end, your garden is overgrown and infested.
While there is no one-size-fits-all for anyone, by being aware of the suggestions in Mindfully Ever After, along with your unyielding
vigilance, you stand a better chance of preventing problems or gain know-how to quickly resolve them. As your marriage garden is
nourished, your lives are enriched with love and light to flourish and thrive for all your days.
Understand that life is unpredictable. There are no guarantees. As in any relationship, arguments are certain to happen and all kinds of
problems will arise. With trust and deep faith within your heart and inner spirit, journeying hand-in-hand on this wondrous adventure
called love, you are not alone. You have each other.
Living in the zone of mindfulness is a pathway to a loving, calm and caring tomorrow. Thank you for accompanying Mindfully Ever After
on your journey. Godspeed.