Chapter II Do you acknowledge your partner's ACCOMPLISHMENTS? : Acceptance

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Mindfully Ever After contains 52 chapters on how to stay happily in love by being mindful of the  common pitfalls 
that face many couples in today's world.

Buy it today as a
Wedding Gift
Anniversary Gift
Anyone in a relationship

Communication, Finance, Romance,
How to Fight-Right
and setting boundaries with In-laws 
a few of the topics covered!
Sample chapters available on Amazon.

Love is 


Energy is 
My hand naturally glided into his as though it had been there before—snug, warm, comfortable. My future husband guided me to the dance floor

 with ease, somehow knowing our bodies would fit together like yin and yang. Corny as it sounds, I felt like Cinderella meeting my Prince 

Charming. When the music stopped playing at the stroke of midnight, neither one of us wanted to say good night. So, unlike Cinderella who 

dashed away to her awaiting pumpkin, I agreed to venture onto his cousin’s well-worn pontoon boat and we leisurely puttered into the pitch 

blackness of the Monongahela River. 

It wasn’t until we were in the middle of the river that my prince realized his cousin had neglected to tell him that one of the pontoons had a major 

leak. Not that it would have mattered. As the boat’s exaggerated tilt sank deeper into the murky waters, we talked until dawn. 

A mere year after our meeting, we had the word forever engraved inside thin wedding bands that would be paid off in just twelve easy 


We didn’t care that he had another year of college and I had my first teaching job at a salary of a whopping five thousand dollars a year. What we 

didn’t have in money was made up for with fiery chemistry that could split an atom. Convinced our love would conquer all, we called our parents 

the morning we planned to elope. This was by no means a spontaneous decision. We had previously found a little church in Maryland where there 

was a kind minister who spoke with us about love, commitment, and the sanctity of marriage. We talked about the future and how we would be one 

of those old couples who always hold hands, finish each other’s sentences, and call each other “Mom” and “Dad.” 

In truth, we had no idea what we were doing. Time proved that love wasn’t enough. Through the years, outside factors and meddlesome people 

cunningly seeped into our lives, playing manipulative games under the guise of caring. The future of our marriage was doomed; we just didn’t 

know it. Just as I had ignored the sinking pontoon, it took me twenty-three years to take responsibility for the underlying feelings of lies and deceit 

that came to define our marriage. 

By the time we sought counseling, the relationship was far too fractured to be repaired. The gray, dingy clouds aptly predicted what was to come 

that fateful day as we walked up the steps of the therapist’s office building. I, for one, had high hopes that he could save us. During that one-hour 

meeting, we first met with the psychologist together, then individually, then together again. At the second together meeting, the doctor told me that 

he needed to see my husband by himself. He said that his issues had to be dealt with before he could help us as a couple. 

With a brief sense of relief that my suspicions were confirmed, I felt a deep sigh release the tension I had been holding firmly within my body. But 

as I recovered, I realized that there was no real cause to celebrate. I felt the counselor’s gaze through his thick, black-rimmed glasses. His smile 

was gone. Neither did he give us any word of encouragement. Not one word. His solemn tone told me that we weren’t fixable. My glance moved 

to my husband as I searched for a sign of hope, but he was mindlessly staring into space. The man I shared my life with couldn’t even look at me. 

Intuitively, I knew we were over. It was a very quiet ride home. 

For the longest time, being divorced bothered me. The word stuck in my throat like a frog that couldn’t hop. The first time I had to check “single” 

on my tax return made me physically ill. Divorce shouldn’t happen to any couple as much in love as we had been. Not to us. Yet, it did.

Granted, I’ve been told that I look at the world through rose-colored glasses, and while I readily admit that I have a tendency to be gullible and 

naive, the one thing I had learned was the value of discernment, the necessity of setting boundaries, and to seek help sooner rather than later. So 

when I married again eight years later, and a boundary was broken, I offered him a choice—therapist or attorney. He chose the attorney.

While I never imagined I would be writing the intimate details of my personal life for all the world to see, I’m grateful to be able to share the 

lessons I have learned and for the spiritual guidance that led me to know that I’m exactly where I’m meant to be. What began with an idea, a 

yellow tablet, and determined desire to help couples honor love, this guide developed to prevent and identify problems before they reach the point 

of no return. 

There are many mindfully ever after marriages and yours is most likely one of them. By becoming aware of the snags and snares ahead of time, 

you’re certain to gain sure-footed confidence on how to keep the sanctity of the vows you made to one another. 

The challenge for couples is blending embedded tribal beliefs, desires, and expectations to create the ideal marriage. Although there’s no one-size-

fits-all set of rules for everyone, reading this book offers the opportunity for meaningful discussion. Matrimony requires supernatural vigilance to 

recognize seemingly insignificant issues, prevent them from escalating, and reach resolution before they become a volcanic mountain of 

irresolvable differences. If you take the same tender care a winemaker exerts as he watches over his vineyard, your love is destined to mature to a 

ripe old age.

Naturally you’re going to have differences of opinions. There will be changes in job situations. And, people will float in and out of your lives who 

prove to be influential challenges. You may even have a strained living arrangement. Know that whatever has happened to you has happened to 

someone else. Pay attention and learn from others! You are not alone. By keeping your values and goals intact, you’re certain to stand in truth with 

one another for now and always. 

Although there are no guarantees in life, living in the zone of mindfulness is truly a pathway to a loving, calm, and caring tomorrow for an ever-

after lifetime of happiness. Thank you for taking Mindfully Ever After on your magnificent journey of love. I applaud your commitment.

As you embark on this incredible adventure, I wish you Godspeed. Just as the astronauts did when they rocketed to the moon, as you cross the 

threshold to a life together, strap in for the ride of your life!

Chapter II Do you acknowledge your partner's ACCOMPLISHMENTS?

by Paulette Glover on 05/23/19

Accomplishment                                            NOUN...something that has been achieved successfully.

Offer sincere praise for your partner’s accomplishments

                                Big or small, celebrate and be proud of your partner!                                   As a new bride, I wasn’t much of a cook. Oh, I conquered the basics well enough, but the challenge of making lump-free mashed potatoes and gravy escaped my kitchen prowess. They were too thick, too thin, or too lumpy. I used too much flour, too little broth, too much salt, not enough butter. Until… one Thanksgiving, I made the absolute best mashed potatoes and gravy ever made on that thankful day! Everything I cooked was perfect.  It was like the fairy godmother of lump-free food waved her magic wand and I could do no wrong.

     When my husband told me how delicious everything was and how proud he was of me, I was like a little kid! “Watch me swim!” “Watch me swing!”Watch me make gravy!” It’s embarrassing to admit, but I remember telling him every single step of the mashed potato and gravy process and how I did it!

     As adults, no one expects you to gush with every pass of the gravy boat and it’s not like I wasn’t going to write a cookbook, but I was grateful to be acknowledged.  

     While some skills come easily to one person, these same skills may be a challenge to another. Beware of letting your ego get caught up in how wonderfully clever you are with the mastery of expertise in your tool belt. Whether it’s creamy gravy, a long-awaited promotion or earning a certificate of achievement---the level of accomplishment is your own perception as to the degree of difficulty. It’s the sincere encouragement and support that go a long way in your partner’s eyes.               

     Sometimes, though, an accomplishment by one partner can be a two edged sword. When the kids became school age, and I wanted to return to the classroom, teaching jobs were scarce. My husband and I decided that I would open a wallpaper and paint store. Coming from a teaching background, building a successful business was a huge deal to me. I had to learn a lot about record keeping, ordering, and so much more. After a few years, when the business was secure and taking root in the community, my husband, who had a business degree, decided to sell his beer distributor business and join me, which was our long term goal.

     At first, I was thrilled to have a mom and pop store! But once he arrived, it was clear that we weren’t great at being co-owners. No matter what I did, it was wrong.  After a year, the Universe must have decided enough was enough when a school district called me out of nowhere, offering me a position as a long term substitute. I gratefully accepted and left the business entirely in his hands. To say he was not happy is putting it mildly. But I was a teacher. He was a businessman. Never the twain should meet in a wallpaper and paint business.

     Human nature is a funny thing when egos come into play. Of course egos are necessary to have anything accomplished in this world. But when it comes to accomplishments of your partner, egos need to be set aside. It’s time to remember that it isn’t about you, so don’t bother to offer a string of empty praises. It’s about having the genuine satisfaction that you confirmed confidence in the person you love.

     Meanwhile, if you’re on the other side of the coin, don’t let your accomplishment go to your head, or, as my mom would say, “Don’t get too big for your britches, Missy!” or “Mister” if she was talking to my brothers. It seems that anyone approaching the big britches status wasn’t worthy to be called by name. Be proud of your accomplishments, but also remember to keep it real.  

     In the movies, who do you root for? Is it the obnoxious blowhard or the guy who is humble and supportive? Besides, acknowledging your partner’s accomplishments is sexy. 

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