Chapter II Do you acknowledge your partner's ACCOMPLISHMENTS?by Paulette Glover on 05/23/19
Accomplishment NOUN...something that has been achieved successfully.
Offer sincere praise for your partner’s accomplishments.
Big or small, celebrate and be proud of your partner! As a new bride, I wasn’t much of a cook. Oh, I conquered the basics well enough, but the challenge of making lump-free mashed potatoes and gravy escaped my kitchen prowess. They were too thick, too thin, or too lumpy. I used too much flour, too little broth, too much salt, not enough butter. Until… one Thanksgiving, I made the absolute best mashed potatoes and gravy ever made on that thankful day! Everything I cooked was perfect. It was like the fairy godmother of lump-free food waved her magic wand and I could do no wrong.
When my husband told me how delicious everything was and how proud he was of me, I was like a little kid! “Watch me swim!” “Watch me swing!” “Watch me make gravy!” It’s embarrassing to admit, but I remember telling him every single step of the mashed potato and gravy process and how I did it!
As adults, no one expects you to gush with every pass of the gravy boat and it’s not like I wasn’t going to write a cookbook, but I was grateful to be acknowledged.
While some skills come easily to one person, these same skills may be a challenge to another. Beware of letting your ego get caught up in how wonderfully clever you are with the mastery of expertise in your tool belt. Whether it’s creamy gravy, a long-awaited promotion or earning a certificate of achievement---the level of accomplishment is your own perception as to the degree of difficulty. It’s the sincere encouragement and support that go a long way in your partner’s eyes.
Sometimes, though, an accomplishment by one partner can be a two edged sword. When the kids became school age, and I wanted to return to the classroom, teaching jobs were scarce. My husband and I decided that I would open a wallpaper and paint store. Coming from a teaching background, building a successful business was a huge deal to me. I had to learn a lot about record keeping, ordering, and so much more. After a few years, when the business was secure and taking root in the community, my husband, who had a business degree, decided to sell his beer distributor business and join me, which was our long term goal.
At first, I was thrilled to have a mom and pop store! But once he arrived, it was clear that we weren’t great at being co-owners. No matter what I did, it was wrong. After a year, the Universe must have decided enough was enough when a school district called me out of nowhere, offering me a position as a long term substitute. I gratefully accepted and left the business entirely in his hands. To say he was not happy is putting it mildly. But I was a teacher. He was a businessman. Never the twain should meet in a wallpaper and paint business.
Human nature is a funny thing when egos come into play. Of course egos are necessary to have anything accomplished in this world. But when it comes to accomplishments of your partner, egos need to be set aside. It’s time to remember that it isn’t about you, so don’t bother to offer a string of empty praises. It’s about having the genuine satisfaction that you confirmed confidence in the person you love.
Meanwhile, if you’re on the other side of the coin, don’t let your accomplishment go to your head, or, as my mom would say, “Don’t get too big for your britches, Missy!” or “Mister” if she was talking to my brothers. It seems that anyone approaching the big britches status wasn’t worthy to be called by name. Be proud of your accomplishments, but also remember to keep it real.
In the movies, who do you root for? Is it the obnoxious blowhard or the guy who is humble and supportive? Besides, acknowledging your partner’s accomplishments is sexy.