It's Not Personalby Paulette Glover on 05/23/20
It’s Not Personal
Be mindful of the perceptions you make about the people around you.
Adopt the ‘It’s not personal’ belief for inner peace and contentment.
Whatever is said or done, whether by your partner, a parent, boss, or a
stranger in passing, know that it’s not personal! I know the internal struggle it
takes not to personally accept insults when directly aimed at your heart. But
know that when you do take another person’s words or actions personally,
you’re giving him or her power over you while he merrily rows his boat,
whistling a happy tune, and your feelings are the piece of lint flicked off a
However, by changing your perception of any person, event or circumstance, an entire new scene opens up to you. For example, if I’m cut off in traffic, I replace being ticked off by changing my perception. I put myself in the offender’s place and think, maybe there’s a baby crying, perhaps he’s late for a job interview, or, she just wasn’t paying attention and didn’t mean to.
Changing your perception is like looking through the windshield of your car, what you see is what you get--- it isn’t personal that there’s construction, detours and potholes. Even if a person’s dog craps in your yard, is it personal? Maybe she forget to bring a cleanup bag, or, could it be, that he’s just plain rude? Accepting that there will always be rough roads, changing scenery, and people who let their dog crap in your yard as part , it’s all part of the human experience. Accept that there are rude and ignorant people regardless of where you live. And know that there are more kind and thoughtful people if you permit yourself to see them through a compassionate lens.
Once upon a time, I was guaranteed a supervisor position if I returned to grad school for certification, which I did. Thousands of dollars in debt later, when the position became available, it was given to someone else. Was I upset? Hell, yeah. Did I take it personally? Oh, yeah. But, by not getting the position I had worked so hard for, I was open and available to follow an incredible spiritual journey.
I don’t know why things happen the way that they do, but I do know that when you don’t take things personally, it may be Universe giving you the nudge needed to find the opening to your true path. Once you refuse to have your emotions dictated by other people, you’re able to surrender and open yourself to notice when new opportunities are being offered.
Look at the people in your life. There are kind people, selfish people and judgmental people in your everyday circle of living. It’s your choice to be with people that offer kindness and respect. Walk away from the ones with toxic energy. Once you stop taking the actions of others personally, you’ll find your relationship at home becomes less stressful and more satisfying. It’s impossible to please everyone, so you must have the courage to be true to the one person who matters most---yourself.
Know that there will be people in your immediate family who won’t understand when you no longer give permission to have your buttons pushed. After all, you’ve stopped playing the game. When you hear, “My how you’ve changed!” and you’re able to respond, “Thank you for noticing,” feel the pride of taking control of your life. Trust your inner voice. By integrating ‘It’s not personal’ as your guided truth, you gain inner peace and happiness, regardless of the bumps in the road. You’ll be able to accept them for what they are---just bumps.
It’s taken me years to integrate the It’s not personal philosophy, but once I did, it was liberating! Every once in a while, I catch myself sliding and have to be mindful that the behavior of the other person has nothing to do with me. Whatever happened, whatever was said, it isn’t personal. Be mindful of the empty boats in your life and search inward.